HIS HAIR’s-ON-FIRE. A Morality Tale.


Why is this man so angry?

IT IS SAID THAT PEOPLE IN HELL WANT ICE WATER.  “Hey, bar-keep, how’bout some service!  I’m rich, and I’m famous, and I’m tired of waitin’for your dumb ass!”  ¶  “Look, Bubba, I didn’t invite you in here.  And I don’t exactly want to be here, either.  I’m an outta-work school teacher.  Ya think I want this stoopid job?  Some idiot politician didn’t handle this plague, and now we’re all burnin’ with fever.  Hey, you look familiar!  You’re HIM!  You did this!  You told half the country not to wear masks!  MORON!  No ice water for you, JERK ! Git-outta-here!”  ¶ ”I’m not leaving until I get some ice water — or I’ll call Management and have you fired!”  ¶  “Yeah, what’s He gonna do? —Send me to some shit’hole country?  We’re stuck, Bubba, so you just best calm down.  I can’t believe I’m talkin’ to you, and now I get to tell it to ya, straight.  I voted for you ’cause you said you were gonna drain the swamp, but instead you stole from the collection plate.  Just like your ole’ man, always cheatin’.  I hear he taught you how, by opening a business for you, and then buying supplies from you at hugely inflated prices, to beat the tax man.  And you’been bankrupt six times, always stiffin’ the little vendors!  And I hear you’re teachin’ your daughter the same tricks.  I also heard every deal you ever made has a knife hidden in it which you twist at closing.”  ¶  “STIFLE, maestro, or no tip for you.”  “Ha!  You think I expect one?  You can just wait for the next shift to maybe bring some ice water, Mister Prissy. You’re gonna need it now that your tax bill is comin’ due.  Maybe the bar-keep at Rikers will give you a squirt of ice water to quench your thirst.”